Some of you out there understand the world of booze collecting but for those of you that do not I'd like to give you a look into why so many of us are consumed with this madness.

Let's start at the beginning - namely WHY there are those out there that feel the need to chase alcohol when there is so much available in any liquor store. Bourbon/whisky (mainly) is like anything else in this world - a few people make a big deal about having something that others cannot obtain, even with copious amounts of cash, and BOOM you've got yourself a hobby / market. See baseball cards, Beanie Babies, etc. Not too long ago you could generally find many of the currently allocated items on any liquor store shelf. I got into this craze when you could find the likes of Weller 12 out in the open and I WOULD PASS IT UP, YO! I've heard from fellow booze crazies that there was even a time when Old Rip Van Winkle (commonly mistaken as "Pappy 10") would sit in stacks on the shelves. If that was on the shelf today for a retail value the great "Tickle Me Elmo" and "Furby" wars of Christmas' past would be equated to the violence in the Puppy Bowl.

So why did it become such an overnight (it feels like to me) craze? Before I really got into bourbon especially my world consisted mainly of Cognac and Scotch. A few years back I read several articles that discussed given millennials' appreciation and consumption of finer alcohols that producers would not be able to keep up with demand. Slowly, producers began removing age statements (the big number that represents how old a spirit is from the time it was distilled to bottled) from bottles because it was not possible to keep aging product at the same volumes. The bigger, higher quality boys out there saw this as an opportunity to create higher aged, more expensive and less available variations of their products - granted, several entities were already doing this. By doing so they basically created a rampant demand that had not always been present.

Enter in the distributor. I could write an entire dissertation on the absolute buffoonery that are the alcohol laws in many of these fine states but I'll attempt to keep this brief. Basically many state laws require that distributors act as a middle man between alcohol producers and the stores that sell the product. There are many, many, many, many scumbag, mafia-esque reasons for this situation but in a nutshell distributors have the power to determine where these harder-to-find (allocated) bottles go. This power has resulted in confirmed, shitty actions such as distributors requiring liquor stores buy large volumes of standard products to get these allocated bottle(s). Distributors are assholes. To learn more about distributors and their terrible ways watch this video by Whiskey Neat.

Given these factors a majority of the harder-to-find bottles end up at many of the big liquor stores because they are able to buy the volume required to get the good stuff. These big stores often have tiered lists of their biggest spenders who get preference in allocated selection. It's not so bad in bunghole, North Dakota but in places like Houston, TX the biggest spenders are those that have Karda$hian money - so competing is futile. This leaves the remnants to be distributed to smaller stores based on their relationship with their sales rep who may be a giant turd or may be at the mercy of the rep's boss who may be a bigger turd. All of this leads to shady ass activity, the creation of a black market and law breaking. Go figure.

So now that you have some background on how the current hobby came to be let's discuss how the average, everyday person gets their hands on these items.

The first method is "bourbon hunting" - the art/sickness of driving around to various liquor stores hours on end trying to find a "honey hole" where there is either a lack of understanding of what good products a store may carry OR you become total bros with the shop owner so you can get a steady, secret supply of heavenly things. In this method there is no shame and no level of schmoozing deemed unacceptable. My own success rate sits around 10% of stores but that's enough to keep you going day in day out. I can definitely say that 90% of those in the hobby partake in this ritual. The other 10% are either incredibly wealthy, total bros with a store owner who gets lots of allocated items or is someone that does not believe in capitalism (i.e. a giant pussy).

The other method is a fight club of sorts. But we don't talk about fight club.

I can only assume you're asking, "Why on earth do you do all this dumb shit?" Valid question. With any hobby you have the obsession factor but my personal take can be attributed to the following items: a lot of the alcohol is really good, social media encourages us to promote how much better we are than others and hobbies are sustained by those that obsess.

Item #1 - the alcohol is really good. I would say as a rule most of the allocated products are fantastic but you have some garbage items sprinkled in. The hunt becomes even better when you find that one bottle that becomes important to you and then you can never truly have enough.

Item #2 - social media. With any hobby there are social media groups devoted to sharing of ideas, solicitation of those with products/services in the industry and blasting your prowess for all of those to see. The final note there seems to overwhelm them all and I am 100% guilty of that. There is NOTHING like finding a damn good bottle and throwing some shade in the direction of everyone else that you found it in a store for retail. It's petty. I know.

Item #3 - it's a hobby. With any hobby you have those that dabble, those that enjoy being in it and those that obsess. I fall somewhere between the last two as I wouldn't sell my children to keep it going but I'd be open to offers. With any hobby you hope for some return on investment and alcohol collecting is no different. Many of these allocated items carry a significant secondary value and can be financially rewarding for those that play the game well. I don't play the game well - I enjoy collecting and rubbing my collection in others' faces who are general taints but that's about it.

All in all it's a very exciting, frustrating and expensive hobby that requires patience, understanding and like 4 transgressions. If you're interested in getting into it give me $1000 and I'll get you like 4 bottles in 5-6 months.

A Bad Wine Reviews 30 For Tree Fiddy: The Underground World of Alcohol Collecting

— Bottles and boards —