10 Things to do with a bottle of Laphroaig

THROW IT ON DA GROUNDDDDD

Seriously

Someone asked me my thoughts on Laphroaig - the smokey, peaty scotch that serial killers drink during their pre-kill meal of mayo and raw garlic.

Rather than give you my thoughts I have created a list of 10 things you can do with a bottle of Laphroaig instead of drinking it.

From not best idea to best idea:

10 - Huck the bottle off an interstate overpass at a 1998 Cutlass Supreme
9 - Open the bottle, set cork aside, empty half of contents into toilet, wait 6 months - contents in toilet are now better than what was in bottle originally
8 - Shove bottle wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy up in the hole to your attic
7 - Open bottle, pour contents into cauldron, combine with sage, blood of a holy man, windex, chlorine and wolverine fur, say "Roll Tide", you will now be #1 meth dealer
6 - Empty bottle and put on top of xmas tree, watch as Satan slides down your chimney
5 - Buy Macallan 30, pour out Macallan 30, pour Laphroaig into Macallan 30 bottle, serve at fancy dinner party, lose friends and clients
4 - Cut bottle in half, fill bottom portion with glass beads, put on table for nice décor; sneak top half into prison for weapon use
3 - Have friend throw bottle in air, shoot with 12 gauge, lose both eyes to shards of glass, still better outcome than drinking it
2 - Remove wheels from skateboard, replace with bottles of Laphroaig, go down biggest hill in town, jump Cliché Ridge, go on date with Jessica Fishman, roll credits to 80s song
1 - Give it to underage teens to ensure they'll never drink again

So there ya go! Send me pics/vids of you doing any of the above to win already scratched, scratch-off lottery tickets!